Thursday, 20 May 2010

Neanderthal Love!

Can it be that our ancestors were getting down with Neanderthals?

All signs point to yes. Is it any wonder really when you consider the noble, sexy Neanderthal? That brow, that gait, that immediacy of purpose -- what must such inter-species congress have been like? Was it rough and primitive? Smooth like R&B? Compelled by curiosity? What are the ramifications of such coitus? And what do we do with this new knowledge of uncommon ancestry?

Neanderthals disappeared about 30,000 years ago. Oddly enough, that's about the same time as this dildo (the world's oldest) was fashioned. Coincidence? Or did the discovery of sex toys eliminate Homo sapiens' taste for sex with Homo neanderthalensis?

The film Quest For Fire would have you believe the Modern (Wo)man taught the Neanderthals how to do it in the missionary position. Ha!

I prefer to imagine a lot more give and take in such a scenario: some enlightened styles sure, but some freaky animalistic carrying ons, as well. It's sex with another species for cryin' out loud -- by its very nature, taboo-busting, instinctually stinky, and no holds barred.

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